NONDUALITY: TOWARDS AN EXISTENTIAL CHRISTIAN MYSTICISM

Can you find a way to get enough clothing and food and shelter from the greater macrocosm? And if so, is there a way to somehow learn the basic reading, writing, and arithmetic? If so, good. If not, oh well. Chuck it! Doesn’t the Good Book say that all is vanity? Doesn’t it say to take no thought of the tomorrow? Existentially you are an animal. Beyond that, spirit, pure spirit in the beginning and end. After the end and before the beginning, you are even not, and it’s unfathomable. So why buy into some random cultural more, set, paradigm, process? A five year old could sum up the entire moral of the perennial philosophy and the golden rule of all religions combined with secular humanism or workable atheism. It’s simple. Don’t harm. That’s about it. So there is no need for anything else. Its vanity, an extra hat on top of your head. We are born without a hat, without a name, without a home. So carry on and keep the candle burning so to speak. It is actually burning anyhow. Take what you can get that you need, but not an ounce more. Can you find your way?

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BODY, SPACE, TIME (SOME INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT WHAT THEY CALL NONDUALITY)

After an actual shift in energy or identification, known by many names such as moksha, liberation, satori, enlightenment, awakening, surrender, so on and so forth…

The body belongs then to the body. What the heck does that mean? It means that the body just functions on its own. The eyes stay awake until they need to rest, but cannot rest before that. For instance, before, you could take a nap, or focus, or not focus. It was as if there was a little person inside of the body controlling these things. And the person was so real seemingly that it had domain over the body. Such is what people call willpower, autonomy, sovereign-ness, positive or negative thinking, attracting, repelling, go-getting, not-getting, striving, not-striving, et cetera et al. But then, after being shifted, there is just the body. Far from magical, it can be prosaic, mundane, every-day. It rests in its natural groove and habits and there is not a division between body and mind, but just a body-mind with the whole working through it. It is in fact the whole, the all and everything. It’s almost atheistic. Far reaching nondualism is, here, similar in a way to atheistic modes of thinking. Which is funny, because one would think the search for Self and God and Nirvana and Heaven is quite the opposite of atheism. Yet, - when shifted, - what is left is nothing (and everything), which is just the One Reality. So the body is just there and appears from the outside and to the outside observer as the same as it was before. That is the experience here. Bright lights and visions and gifts are perhaps for others, - their karmic birthright and destiny. Its more what is here being talked about just the body, - ho-hum. Hum-drum. Quite boring. I was thinking before it would be like being beatific, blissful, romantic. But no. It’s just this. And ‘this’ entails brushing teeth, cutting nails, walking, talking, doing the dishes. Damn! Nonduality sucks eggs!

There is no space. There is, but there is not. Scientifically there is in order to talk about the desk versus the chair. But, - really there is not. And this, paradoxically, taken to the next level, - is scientific also. I always wondered anyways even before, when I thought about it theoretically, how there could be anything but one reality (scientifically). It is absolutely impossible, this much I know internally and externally, intellectually and experimentally and existentially, for there to be any division in reality. How could there be? It’s all the same thing, - from ‘here’ to ‘eternity’. How could a thing be A) a thing, or B) outside of reality? It’s simply impossible. But I can see why it divided itself into parts in order to experience itself as they say.

Time. There is no time. The time we mark appears inside of the no-time. It’s kind of like a dream. No, maybe that is not right. It’s like this: nope. - can’t explain it. Can’t explain the timeless through words. Maybe it’s impossible and that is what the poets try to do. Who knows? There is Timelessness- Void, - and then everything happens inside of it. The seasons, the days, the clock, the seconds. They have a certain validity, - but they happen in the stillness. Even birth and death occur inside of the One. How could it be otherwise? 

So there are three things anyways. I probably forgot some or many. To recap:

Body, meaning there is only the body doing what it does, or body-mind,- but the gestalt or ground-figure relationship has not only changed, but has become one, so it’s not a gestalt at all, only appears as such from the outside. Ground and figure are now GROUNDFIGURE. It’s ONE, and it does what it does. - No free will, just the appearance of free will.

Space, meaning there is no space, - so now what is outside is inside. You are what you look upon. That is why there can be a tendency for the human to isolate or protect itself somewhat, - because this gives new meaning to the word empath. This is empath to the exponential umpteenth fold number.

And Time, meaning no time, yet time appearing inside of no-time. Which sounds admittedly like nonsense to the uninitiated, but if you are in No-Time, you see time unfolding or proceeding (the earth goes around the sun and the seasons change, there is morning, noon, and night, there is a difference between 7:02 AM and 10:00 PM, yet that is like lights going on in a room, - it is the same room all the time, lights on or off. So the stillness or Oneness is always the case, - but time marches through it, out of it and falls back into it every instant practically instantaneously, - like a magic show.

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NONDUALITY: THE YELLOW BIRD

This not an allegory, analogy, symbolic story, or anything of the sort. There was a yellow bird that was sitting on the back deck railing. I did not notice it, and went out the sliding door and with a husky dog no less. I don’t know if the bird alighted on the railing while I was not looking, but I don’t think so. If it did, that would be even more magical. That it did not become startled by a door, a person, and a large working dog, is weird, was weird. (that someone in this room is watching a show and the moment I wrote that a flock of birds on the screen became startled and took off from a large tree is true and synchronistic). The bird in mysticism could have meant many things. It stayed there for a full few minutes, staring lovingly at me. And I would swear the lovingly part is not a projection. I thought right away that this is something very strange going on- and felt it meant something but I did not know what. It was yellow, and I guess this is a Gold Finch? Or something else. Now it could have been someone’s pet that escaped, or it could have been injured, or kind of a bird with a different brain that made it more relaxed, unafraid. If some people have different brains, or learning differences, why not a bird? Or maybe someone had been feeding it, and it got the wrong house. Yet, - my truest impression was that it was none of these. It seemed like a messenger. But I can’t get caught up in that. I don’t know if it was a totem, a messenger, or what. Is someone going to die, but it is okay? Is someone going to be borne? Is a special event going to happen? Is an auspicious sign? The point is, - though neat things happen, and I do believe they mean something, - I am glad that there is something else- or rather that it all appears in everything. It is let go as soon as it happens, and it opens up the vast, the infinite space, - for more to happen. What shall happen on this grand adventure? In a way, nothing less than everything. The bird slowly got ready to fly off. I could sense it, could see it. There was a certain movement to the feet and body, and a slight, slight repositioning. Then turning 44 degrees or so, it went off to the air and in seconds, as if something out of a fairy tale or a poem, was mixed in to the story of dense and high leaves and branches borne of a mature tree that waited under a pink blue orange white pre-dusk sky.

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NONDUALITY: IS THERE A CAUSE TO AWAKENING?

This is a great question.  To me there is no answer. How could a single cause be pointed out? But I am sure others might differ. Maybe somewhere a guru touched a disciple’s head and voila! - He or she came home. So to me, I don’t think there is a way that someone can do something to become awakened. My view and feeling on it is that the person was never not awakened, but clouded over by culture and idea, and sort of programmed. The program can run out, and then there is what is called awakening, though it is for nobody. It is just existence waking up again to what already is because a veil has been lifted and the ‘dream’ is over. Something like that. So I would say there is no cause. But, that could be wrong. There could be something that does it within everything. I think people should say the truth, which is ‘I don’t know, but here is my impression and experience.’ So I say no but I am open to a cause. For instance, I met Mother Meera, in Toronto Canada, about a year before, the late summer a year before, and received darshan. She is a divine mother I wholly believe in who works in silence. Perhaps that had something to do with it. I do not know. 

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NONDUALITY: A FALLING THAT NEVER SEEMS TO HIT THE GROUND

After the searching lets go, as if a program of some sort ran out, what remains is whatever is going on. The romance of the seeking and the finding, that whole idea, ends. Therefore the singular moment afterwards, without the seeker, continues. Here such a moment has continued for several years. This in itself, when the I as a tool or function within the stillness, amazes me. Nothing in a way has happened. I almost wanted to go back, though this doesn’t seem possible. I never heard or read in the canon of someone wanting to go back. But those books, those teachers, those seminars, darshans and satsangs were all so interesting and magical in their own right. A whole lifestyle was taken away from me when the I stopped one afternoon. And then what? A sort of falling into things, a merging where whatever is seen is what one is. There is not the viewer and the field per se, but just the field. An inability to close the physical eyes for a nap in order to escape, dream, avoid, such like, - another true love that existed prior to this awakening. So the search and the naps, - two things taken away. And what could have been lovelier than books and beloved sleep? Don’t get me wrong, there is sleep, - but it is regular sleep, at night, and now, years later, rarely at any other time. The body became predominant, not the mind, - and it does what it wants when it comes to natural functions like sleep. The eyes will not close if they are not meant to close. And there is this falling, falling, falling. I would have thought that on the contrary there would be an expansive, upward, and widening. The ajna chakra and the crown chakra are upwards. The kundalini usually rises upwards, is experienced that way. Upwards is heaven! But instead it’s like a falling into reality. Into things. A spilling of the eyes and whatever moves out from them, existence I suppose, - back into existence. And I never really landed. The new being, which is the old body but without the superimposition of the seeker, just continues on. There is always the physical existence until it subsides. 

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